'Sir?' A stern sounding woman said to me

'I understand you are buying cute sexy panties, is that right?'

'Yes, so what. I am buying the panties for my girlfriend.' I objected, my voice sharp.

'Oh, that is a relief, sir. There has been a lot of fraud going on in that area of the state lately, would you mind if we called your girlfriend and told her about this purchase. That way we could confirm that you are indeed buying her cute sexy panties in a store two counties away from your home, a place where you have never made a purchase before. We could tell her that right, she would understand that you are buying panties for her, right? You do this kind of thing all the time, right? So if its alright with you, may I have her work number? I could call her, or maybe even your mother, you wouldn't mind if I called your mother and told her you were buying pretty little girly panties, would you?' I could hear the peals of laughter in the background.

'I guess . . . I guess I would rather you didn't.' I said quietly.